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Dear god, censor the bums! by Squeek98j
Mature content
Dear god, censor the bums! :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 1 1
Fawny Grace by Squeek98j Fawny Grace :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 3 1 Self Portrait by Squeek98j Self Portrait :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 3 7 self portrait (GIF) by Squeek98j self portrait (GIF) :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 5 12
Dug a hole with my own shovel
Just a word
A simple
word in the morning
before bed
so i know you're alright
because i am dieing here without you
and i have handled it so far
but you can only stretch so much
until you either snap back into old habits
or break all together
I know it's not my fault
but it's really not yours either
I am sorry i seem like a bitch tonight
I am trying not to break in front of you
trying not to make you feel bad
Trying to make it seem like i am ok
when really i am not
because you mean my everything
So until the next time we talk
Be safe
Please don't do anything
I may no longer be a text away
But keep me somewhere safe
So when we can talk
We do
Because i cannot possibly lose you
Because i love you
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 1 2
Ripped raw and open
If i show you my scars
I trust you won't hurt me
If i show you open wounds and cuts
I always did
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 6
Hanna's story
It's like you're different
I don't even know you anymore--
In a good way--
Because you've changed
You no longer go days without one bite
You no longer live by knife
You no longer want to leave
And i am overjoyed
Though i still worry
I no longer fear
For losing my best friend
Because forever she's here
You've made it
You've kicked ass
You recovered from--
what was it?
Maybe more?--
And a monster on her tail
And now you're here
and Always
And when my kids
and everyone after
Has a tough time in life
As we all do
I will sit them down
And i will tell them about the one who made it
Against all odds
And fought with passion
And courage
Yes, when they have troubles
I will tell them all about
Hanna's Story
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 2
Idk what to call this Line and Alesandro by Squeek98j Idk what to call this Line and Alesandro :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 12
I would
If i could spill my guts to you
Like everything was brand new
And hold you in my arms
I would
If i could let the wind whip past
Letting old well memories last
And dance around with you
I would
If i could hold all the trees in my hand
Wishing only a gift to you and
Let the rain wash past
I would
If i could hear your voice sing
And let the soft tone through the house ring
And the subtle yet strong essence last
I would
If i could spend another moment
Another day another week not yet spent
Just to be with you in whole and pure
I would
If i could be there right now
If i could figure out how
To spend forever with you
I would
Oh darling i would
And if i could make your every wish come true
Only to spend another moment with you
And be together in pure
I would
And i would never stop
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 1 0
Are you here?
Why do i keep expecting to see you
Cause i know you're never here
I mean
Morally, yeah
Emotionally, of course
But never really
You build up
And let me build up
With no release
And once i think it likely
It's not
And once i think it hopeful
It's not
And once i think it might
It's not
Because you're never really here
Though it is no fault or yours or mine
It might be nice....
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 0 12
Mature content
Would you? :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 36
The Rankless
I took a deep breath. No one could find out. No one could see. No one could notice. I took another deep breath and another step closer to the group of people.
“I’m Jason,” I said to myself. I grimaced at the metallic twinge in my voice. “I’m Jason,” I said again, but it sounded exactly the same. “Hello, I’m Jason,” I said for a third time but it yet again sounded the same.
I paused. I knew I wouldn’t fit in with the people sitting in a circle talking about, well, whatever they were talking about. I took a deep breath and decided to continue going.
“Hello,” I said as I approached. “I’m Jason.”
“We’re elites,” one said and they all got up and left.
I looked at myself. I thought I looked elite but apparently elites looked different.
“They’re just assholes, don’t worry about them,” I heard behind me.
I turned around, surprised to see someone standing behind me
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 0 8
Mature content
P-A-I-N :iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 0 4
The power
It broke my soul in half
It tore my heart apart
It smashed every last essence i had left
It made me feel like shit
It made the weather change to dark
It killed off every last hope
It shook me so close to death
It made me feel dead
It made me wish i read it wrong
It made my stomach twist
It made my chest ache
It made the tears try to break my walls
It is the power of one simple word
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 0
They don't understand
And i doubt they ever will
But i'm breaking
And i need you
They don't understand
Because yeah, i do want to spend time with you
But i also need you to keep me safe and sane
And i need you
They don't understand
They think this is all a game
"You're just a teenager, it won't last forever"
But i need you
They don't understand
But maybe they would
oh maybe they would if i were gone
Cause i need you
They don't understand
They think they know everything
So i must be nothing
And i need you
They don't understand
And on them i have given up
Because i don't think they'll ever get it
Cause i need you
They don't understand
The intense emotion, the hard break
The highest high, and the lowest low
And i need you
They don't understand
But maybe it is better that way
Cause if they did they would ruin it
But i need you
They don't understand
So I don't know if i should show them what is happening to me
Or live to prove them wrong
But i need you
They don't understand
And i doubt they
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 0
The promise
Give me the strength not to cut
I can't do it
I cannot let myself fall again
Please i need this
I need to stay clean
For my two
My two only reasons
Give me the strength not to do it
I am begging please
I cannot go through with it
If i start i don't think i'll stop
Until i'm done
:iconsqueek98j:Squeek98j 2 8
my horrible gallery! hope you like it!
Please comment! I love reading what you have to say about my work and will respond to all with loves! <3


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! by NE-R0 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! :iconne-r0:NE-R0 499 118 Aoi Spooky box 2 by mittilla Aoi Spooky box 2 :iconmittilla:mittilla 99 7 Aoi and Uruha the Gazette AU by mittilla Aoi and Uruha the Gazette AU :iconmittilla:mittilla 77 13 Like Trying To Catch Smoke by RiotEye Like Trying To Catch Smoke :iconrioteye:RiotEye 295 24 VI by RiotEye VI :iconrioteye:RiotEye 304 50 Smut by RiotEye Smut :iconrioteye:RiotEye 787 105 The Gazette - DARK AGE by KaZe-pOn
Mature content
The Gazette - DARK AGE :iconkaze-pon:KaZe-pOn 144 41
Kaze x Pon x Reita-sheep - LOVE by KaZe-pOn Kaze x Pon x Reita-sheep - LOVE :iconkaze-pon:KaZe-pOn 165 22
15Q Meme for OC couples.
1: Hello, thanks so much for answering this meme! First of all, tell us the happy lovebirds' names! Full names, please~! c:
2: Thank you! So, what do they do? Are they students? Or do they already work?
3: Interesting! So…how did they meet each other and started dating?
4: Ohhhh, okaaaaay. Then, how far have their relationships developed? Have they gone out together? Have they kissed? Or……further?
5: OHOHOHOHOHO ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT. 8D Now, tell us, what do they call each other? By their names? Or by nicknames? Or maybe perhaps "darling" and "honey"? XDDD
6: How cute! c: So, what do you think they both think of each other?
7: Niceeeeee. Do they live together?
8: Do they ever argue? If yes, about what?
9: Aww. Then, how would they react if one of them were hurt? (I'll leave the situation up to you ;D)
10: Tell us a typical route/schedule for their date?
11: Okay! Now, tell us a song you remind them of!
12: *infinite loops* Do they have marrige in mind? If yes, how would thei
:iconcrino-line:crino-line 136 27
Free Raffle [CLOSED] by Orvaentadopts Free Raffle [CLOSED] :iconorvaentadopts:Orvaentadopts 103 118 Dragon Wolf Adopt Lineart(free) by P0CKYY Dragon Wolf Adopt Lineart(free) :iconp0ckyy:P0CKYY 844 79 R x U x R - Sleeping trio by KaZe-pOn R x U x R - Sleeping trio :iconkaze-pon:KaZe-pOn 135 41 Smile before the camera by SoftPoison Smile before the camera :iconsoftpoison:SoftPoison 346 15 Blue-eyed Boss by dollstars Blue-eyed Boss :icondollstars:dollstars 216 15 Kai x Uruha - xmas gift by KaZe-pOn Kai x Uruha - xmas gift :iconkaze-pon:KaZe-pOn 81 8 Reituha as usual by KaZe-pOn Reituha as usual :iconkaze-pon:KaZe-pOn 58 12
If there is anything you think i'd like to fave PLEASE! PLEASE send it to me or give me the link! I fave because of concept along with the skill of the artist! So don't think you're a bad artist! I love all art (Except art that puts a race, gender, sexuality etc down) SO send me anything! I'd love to see your art or your friends! My inbox is always open and i am on as much as i can! :D





:iconcanadas-artists: :iconsasodrocpuppetlove: :iconartaddictsanonomous:



Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
My girlriends (who are fucking gorgeous): :iconleonedarkblade: <3 :iconangel666666:


:heart:Friends in real lifes :3 :heart:


:heart: Mah mummy :meow::heart:

:heart:MAH COUSINNNN:heart:

:heart: PEOPLES I LOVES! :heart:

Current Residence: Nova Scotia, Canada ^^ (Damn you lil red line...i spelled Scotia right!!!!)

I don't label myself with terms such as "female" "male" "gay" etc
But if i had to,
I am pansexual. I am agender.
If it confuses you, note me and i will help clear things up.
i just ripped myself raw open to everyone on here, i realize i am open to criticism and i don't care.
If you have a problem with any part of me then just leave my profile, please.

Hey greatful DA bio readers!! :icontardwaveplz: I am Squeek, i LOVE music, art, writing prose and writing poetry!

If you ever need someone to talk to or rant to or need advise please never hesitate to note me i will listen and do my best to help <3

I have a lovely OC couple, Alex Trafire and Chesley Quinn-Trafire who i have made a profile dedicated to stories of them, they can be found here: :iconalexxchesley: :iconchesley-quinn:

And my sexy OC Nameless who has his own profile too (it was a joke that turned to a dare XD) :iconsexynameless:

I LOVE to rp so if you wanna rp just ask! Don't be shy!

If you post a nice comment i'll check out your profile! :D

Have a nice day and thanks a bunch for visiting my profile! ;) Don't be afraid to visit again! :icontardwave:

**Trigger warning/general sickness shit: LOTS AND LOTS OF BLOOD IN THIS JOURNAL! If that makes you uncomfortable or triggered i would advise you to stop reading :P otherwise, carry on**

So i haven't been on lately and i apologize, with the end of school coming here i had some final projects to get done, i had two (thankfully only two) exams to study for and my cousins are coming up tomorrow and all weekend so i have to get ready for that and it has all been so ugh

But anyway i got my lip pierced last week (actually exactly a week ago lol) and i really like it, i died my hair black again and am starting set up for a self portrait photoshoot i wanna do (y'know, when my camera decides to work -_- ) and am hoping to get a new camera this summer, or a flute, or a wireless connector for my tablet....y'know...

But anyway, to the title of this journal, so i got my lip pierced a week ago, it went smoothly, bled a lil a few hours after i got it done but overall that was it, no sign of infection, didn't hurt, swelled just a tiny bit and i mean, it went as expected
Until last night

Now, i usually wake up at around 4am every night and go back to sleep, alarm goes at 6:30am and if it's a school day then i get up and if it's a weekend or holiday i got back to sleep until i wake up again

Well last night i woke up at 4am, as always, but with a weird taste in my mouth, i concluded it was the taste of blood and, as my mouth likes to trick me sometimes at this time of morning, ignored it, or at least tried to, after a moment of trying to figure out why my mouth tasted like blood and why it was filling with saliva so much i decided to go to the bathroom to check it out, and i really had to pee -_-
So i spit into the sink and it took me a moment to realize it was completely blood....

I 'smiled' to get a look at my teeth and lips and realized my teeth were red, my lips were red and my mouth was pooling with blood again. This was around the time my mum woke up and came in to. She had to use the bathroom or something and saw me spit into the sink, again, pure blood -_- She sat up with me for another half hour as i spit pure blood into the sink.....for...a...half...hour...straight...

Like :iconleonedarkblade: and i joke all the time about drinking blood and whatnot but i don't think you realize until 4am-- and about 6 mouthfuls of blood later-- that it is sickening to the point of *in my case* almost throwing up

So i came to the conclusion that the blood was coming from my lip ring (Or stud if you wanna be technical) so i washed my hands, spit more blood into the sink and pulled my lip down to see what was going on (Mum was just watching and trying to clean up the blood on the counter)

So my only conclusion was that the skin had grown over the stud back slightly (The lady who stuck the needle through my lip said to watch out and keep pushing it back to make sure it didn't grow over and i mean i sleep for a long time and in the morning it sometimes is grown over just a lil, usually easy to poke back out and clean up, never bleeds, though, usually) and i caught it on my tooth and somehow pulled it and made it bleed

Nonetheless, i was awoken at 4am and spit pure blood into the sink for a half hour and then, just as easy as it came on, it stopped....I brushed my teeth, had a glass of water, cleaned my piercing and went back to bed....Mum cleaned the blood off the counter and sink and went to bed too....

She got home from work today (I slept in until like noon so that was the first time i got to talk to her today) and i looked at her and asked if last night really happened and seriously both of us sat there for like 20 minutes contemplating whether or not it happened....i mean we are 99% sure it did but it could just be a surreal nightmare

And i mean, it is now as if it never even happened, it doesn't hurt, it hasn't started bleeding since, nor has it started swelling

So that has to be the weirdest, most nightmarish and surreal thing ever to happen to me and holy shit, like to see that much blood in your own mouth is really offsetting


Add a Comment:
STAG-KING Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
we haven;t spoken in literal years i think
i dont even know if you remember me 
but i just wanted to say hi!
zraclooc Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2016
Birthday cake  icon Misc Emoji-04 (Happy Birthday) [V1] 
TheHauntedLily Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
hey, I was just thinking about you and way back when. Back in the SHWWD days. How've you been? I'm just kind of missing you and wanted to know how you are. I hope that you're well.
Squeek98j Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hey! Sorry, i'm not on very much. I get thinking about SHWWD too :) Ahhh fond memories :)
I've been great :) My current partner (reading this rn) says hi :) And got quite confused when i mentioned SHWWD, so i am thinking i need to drag HER into this downward spiral of horror :) Especially with some of the stuff Wolfy wrote haha

Anyway, how are you?
TheHauntedLily Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, I've been okay. My life is an emotional rollercoaster as always. I've been working a lot. Been working on some stories and art stuff, too. I've gotten a lot better over the years. Not as much of an edgy shit either. I came out to my mom too... Pansexual and genderfluid. Chopped off my hair and I dye it pretty regularly. Basically, I'm a very different person thaneeds I was.
Rainbowfish3 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday! :D
Squeek98j Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you
Rainbowfish3 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem 
zraclooc Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2015
Squeek98j Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you
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